Cleo's story

Earlier this week the University of Edinburgh released their evaluation report on the Children First North Strathclyde Bairns Hoose.

In this blog, Cleo* shares why she would urge anyone else who has been sexually assaulted to speak up and how Children First’s support has helped her when she needed it most.

"I had not been working long at my first job in a restaurant when I was sexually harassed and sexually assaulted by a man much older than me. I was only 16 years old.

"He assaulted me several times. I didn’t want to go any more and started making excuses and calling in sick. I was missing school. I felt so drained.

"I didn’t plan to go to the police to begin with about it because I was scared I would lose my job.

"But after a few months I worked up the courage to tell my mum and dad. On one hand, it was a relief to tell someone, but on the other it was horrible to have to explain to them what had happened. And trying to explain it to my younger brothers who look up to me was hardest of all. It had a big impact on them.

"Mum and dad supported me to go to the police but that didn’t make things better like I’d thought. I had to tell the police what had happened multiple times. I felt let-down.

"My family tried their best to help me, but I felt I needed more professional support, and it was around this time I was introduced to Children First.

"I hoped the court process would make things better, but it made me feel worse because it dragged on so long. It took two years for the man who assaulted me to be found guilty.

"Every time I went to court hoping that I could forget it and move on after that, something would happen that would mean I had to come back on another date and relive it all.

"Sometimes we waited seven hours just to be told to go home and that was hard on me and my dad who sat there with me as I got more upset. At times I had wished I hadn’t told anyone.

"The court system 100 percent needs to change. Once they get a date, they should be prepared for that person coming in, having the right people there on time to get it done and out of the way.

"I wouldn’t wish what I’ve been through on my worst enemy, it was just shocking.

"The courts need to make children and young people their priority. They have a life that they can be living, and they should be able to move on as quickly as possible.

"My support worker Sarah* has made me so much happier. I’m not sure where I’d be without her.
I’m able to rant to her about everything, we go out for walks or for a bite to eat and it’s like a friendship. It helps that she’s outside of my circle of family and friends, she knows what to do to help me and understands. She’s there because she wants to be.

"When we had to go to court, Sarah would help keep me and my dad calm, check that we were ok, she would bring things as a distraction like games and colouring books and food. It made things better than it would have been. If I needed anything she would get it.

"If there were things I couldn’t say to my mum and dad Sarah would help me by explaining to them and help them to adapt to what was going on.

"Bairns Hoose wasn’t open when this all began for me, but I went there to do my victim impact statement with Sarah before court. It felt calm and quiet there and safe.

"It was very welcoming. It will help so many young people who can go there to give their evidence.
The man who hurt me was found guilty earlier this year and is now on the sex offenders register but I don’t think his punishment was tough enough. He lives nearby and sometimes I’ve seen him out and about, which has been so difficult. So, my family and I are moving away.

"By going through the courts, I hope I have helped stop him hurting anyone else.

"Overall, things are a lot better now at home for us. It’ll always be with me, but I want to move on and focus on what’s ahead.

"Initially I found it hard to make friends at college and to tell them and my extended family about it. It was hard to trust anyone. But when I did, it was a relief. Now they know what I’ve gone through and can support me.

"I’d tell anyone else who is sexually assaulted to tell someone as soon as you can. Don’t keep it in. Tell your parents. Be brave. Charities like Children First can help you turn things around."

*Names have been changed to protect the anonymity of the young person sharing their story.

If you or a young person you know needs help, contact the Children First support line on 08000 28 22 33 free of charge.